I struggled to stop masturbation for many years. In this article, I'll share with you some of what worked for me, and also answer the question, Is Masturbation Sin?
Each time I masturbated, I would tell myself "I'll resist the urge next time". But the next time, my emotions would be so loud, crying out for gratification that resistance would be impossible.
While masturbation was a way to release the sexual tension, it was also an escape from boredom or depression. Sexual fantasies were an escape from my miserable feelings and pessimistic outlook, to a land where I was loved the way I wished to be loved.
Now, I believe that it's important to talk about some underlying habits that may stifle your desire to stop masturbation. You must deal with some conditions in your life, else your desire to quit will end only at desire.
If you're here reading this, I assume that you know this: the decision to stop masturbating is not as hard as the decision to enforce the decision to stop J. All you need is say, 'I'll never masturbate again', and then wait for the next urge to determine your will to stay continent. Difficult, right?
But if many others have beat it, you can beat it too.
You won't lose your sexual urge, 'cause it's normal, but you will learn how to control your emotions, which in turn will be of general benefit to you. You're not a hunk of hormones without control.
The points above should already give you a clue as to why your struggle to stop masturbation may be difficult. Perhaps, there are situations in your life that need to be dealt with first.
More on that below. Let's look at some more causes in the form of excuses.
Like the causes, these excuses can ensure that your desire for self-stimulation triumph over your desire to stop. Therefore, the very first point on how to stop masturbation should be:
If your struggle is anything like what I endured, it is not enough to say, "I stop masturbating".
Solo sex is not just for sexual gratification. It can be the sign of a deeper problem you need to deal with it.
For example, if you nurture sexual fantasies, you need to stop them first before you can stop masturbating. In point 4 below, you'll see that you need to replace the immoral thoughts. You can't just stop them and have nothing to do with your mind.
If you use masturbation as an escape from emotional or psychological issues, you need to solutions to these root causes.
My recommendation, 'cause I write from a Christian perspective, is that you seek to understand more of God's love for you. God's love and acceptance through His Son, Jesus Christ, provided the cure for my feelings of inferiority, low self-esteem, and depression.
Spend ample time in fellowship with the Lord in prayer and Bible study. Let God's word cleanse and heal you from whatever pain the past and the present have inflicted upon your life.
God's word is powerful. It is effective in your life if you take the time to let it influence you. That topic could make for another day, but I encourage you to give God's Word a chance in your life.
If you're not yet a Christian, you need Jesus first. You cannot come to an intimate relationship with God except through acknowledging Jesus Christ as Savior from sin and Lord of your life.
If you're a Christian, do deeper into an intimate relationship with God through the word and prayer.
Then you'll stop seeking masturbation as an escape mechanism from your emotional or psychological misery.
But is it sin?
This was a big one with me, one of the major reasons why overcoming masturbation was almost impossible. Then one evening, I said, "Lord, if you can convince me that it is sin, I'll put a final stop to it."
The passage of scripture in 1 Corinthians 7 had always seemed to me to prohibit the act, but I'd never been very convinced. I wanted something which my mind could not debate when my unmarried body was hot and in need of sex.
In my research, I found out from the Nelson's Bible Dictionary that the "New Testament often uses the term (fornication) in a general sense for any unchastity".
The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia simply defines fornication as unchastity, which is a general term for all forms of sexual gratification outside of a heterosexual marriage.
That statement made me look at 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 differently,
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
If a man not touching a woman (or not marrying) can lead to fornication (unchastity), fornication here must mean more than what we understand.
Even more important are verses 8 and 9 of the same chapter and context:
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
The truth is that masturbation is sex. Solo sex. Or sex with an imaginary partner. It constitutes sexual impurity because it is sex out of marriage.
Those immoral thoughts that fuel the pleasure are sin. The Bible calls us to fill our minds with things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).
No matter what other people say about this, it is wrong for a Christian to undress other people in their minds, or create imaginary sexual partners and have virtual intercourse with them.
The Bible's silence on masturbation doesn’t mean it hasn't addressed the issue. Is it right to have sex dolls because the Bible is silent about them? The principles of God's word do not condone such perversions.
For a Christian, it becomes easier to stop masturbation when you see it as a sin than when you debate the issue, because each time the urge comes on you, your body will side with the argument that allows it to get gratification.
The Bible prescribes marriage for sexual passion. If you're not ready for marriage, you need to learn how to exercise self-control.
That is what I'll mention in the next points. When on heat, engage these methods until the sexual urge calms down.
This was a cure for me. It is hard to masturbate when you're meditating scriptures, especially Bible Verses on Sexual Purity (PDF download)
When you fill your mind with God's Word, when you spend time in prayer, it is hard to nurture sexual fantasies that may lead to self-stimulation.
With Bible apps, you don't have to be at home to read a physical Bible. When the urge comes, don't rush to your workplace's or church's restroom to masturbate. Don't run to the bathroom. Do not encourage the sexual fantasies. Rather, take out your phone or your bible and read it.
Sexual purity is a fight.
Also, you should be hiding God's Word in your heart so that in times of need, even without a Bible handy, you can draw from that well and not sin against God. (Psalm 119:11).
You can watch a movie or read a novel (not erotic romance, please!), you can play games, you can go visit a friend, or you can exercise. Just do something until the present urge subsides.
I don't advise bathing when your body is longing for sex. The sight of your nakedness can encourage you to masturbate.
The more you enforce self-control, the more your fight to stop masturbation becomes less intense. Gradually, your body learns to be put under subjection.
Constantly starving your body from sexual gratification is not a good place, though. That is why you should consider marriage if you are single. If you're married, solve the underlying issues that are causing you to prefer masturbation over sex with your spouse.
I hope this helped. Drop me a comment in the section below! God bless.
Janet is passionate about encouraging the Christian youth and single to pursue intimacy with God, discover and fulfill their God-given specific purpose, and prepare for life-long enjoyable marriage.