Singleness offers you unique opportunities to live a God-centered life in ways that a married person may not.
That is exactly what the Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34: a single has the chance to give an undivided attention to the Lord.
One way you can effectively do so is to discover and follow God's plan for your life, that place where you give your focus, time and energy in doing what God created you for.
Now is right time. That is not to say you can't find God's plan for your life when already married, but if you're still single, there can be no better time.
A life of purpose is important no matter your civil status.
It is even more important for the single person as we shall find out the benefits of purposeful living to a satisfying singleness and even in the area of finding a mate.
An aimless life, a life without purpose and focus, is not
only useless, it is stressful. Apart from experiencing the joy and peace of
salvation through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing satisfies like
finding your place of purpose in this life and pursuing it.
Without purpose, many singles experience frustration from lack of direction. They may feel stagnated and generally unmotivated towards life. And then they erroneously believe that marriage is the solution.
When purpose is not found, you can waste your time and resources in unnecessary pursuits. Without direction in life, you can make mistakes at this stage that can mar you for a long time to come.
Find any Christian Single who fills fulfilled, even though facing the unique challenges of being unmarried, whether as a permanent state or a temporary phase; find any
single who desires marriage but is not desperate, there's a common denominator
– a goal they are pursuing. They have a life with a focus.
As noted above, one of the wrong reasons why singles seek marriage is to escape the emptiness of an unsatisfying singleness.
Unfortunately, the void created by a lack of purpose cannot be filled with marriage, unless of course, marriage is that purpose, which is very doubtful.
Marriage should help you fulfill God's purpose more. It is not a purpose in itself.
In my youth group when I just became a Christian, we used the phrase, "God's will for my life" to mean that special one God has for us as mate. But with time, that phrase came to mean what it should be - a whole of God's plan.
We were eager about marriage, eager to recognize who that Mr. or Miss Right was. I'm so glad about the emphasis being put today about discovering and fulfilling purpose.
That's where God wants his children to be - preoccupied with his agenda for them, not an agenda supplied by popular opinion and pressure.
If you find singleness not satisfying, and you expect marriage to bring you excitement and self-worth, you may be deeply disappointed.
“There's a void in
your life that only the pursuit of your God-given purpose will fill"
If your life is miserable as a single, marriage may make it twice miserable. It is therefore important to seek to have the right perspective on life as a single so you don’t set up unrealistic expectations for marriage.
A purpose-driven life offers you that kind of perspective.
“Without purpose, the emptiness within predisposes you to the risk of mistakes”.
This brings us to the next point.
With focus and direction in life, the kind of person you'll choose to go with becomes obvious. On the contrary, an aimless living means anyone can do for a partner.
Marriage is not just meeting someone of the opposite sex, exchanging vows, moving in with them, and then the rest, as they say is, “we lived happily ever after”.
That happens in the movies and romance novels. One area of compatibility between couples is in life goals. They may not be the same but shouldn’t be antagonistic either.
You can't travel together with someone who is going in an opposite direction. You can't comfortably fulfill God's plan for you when your partner is not an encourager of your vision.
If they constantly discourage or recommend you do something else which you're not convinced is God's leading for you, they are not compatible with you. Your first human encourager should be your spouse.
When you find married couples who are fighting over goals, that's an indication of a lack of purpose and vision when they were still single. Now in marriage, they experience friction, quarrels and possibly a shelving of God's plan to accommodate a spouse's preferences.
As a Christian single, you stand a better chance of avoiding these mistakes by wholeheartedly pursuing God and his purpose for your life now, so that someone intending to end up with you knows exactly what direction your life is facing and what they're getting into.
You don't just get married to a person's body. You marry their vision and dreams too.
A disclaimer is needed here to state that some Christians are only led to pursue a certain path after marriage.
That however does not mean they are or should be living an aimless life while single. They could know the direction but are waiting on God for the timing as he prepares them now.
Knowing and pursuing God's purpose for you during singleness saves you the constraints of having to seek your spouse's consent and possibly incurring a rejection, and living the rest of your life totally unfulfilled, knowing that God wants you to be moving a different direction but your spouse thinks otherwise.
One of the best decisions I ever made, after salvation, was to quit a good paying job. I'm forever grateful to God I did it as a single. For years I knew that one day I was going to quit, but until I got divine sanction, I just thought that maybe when I get married, I would then quit and become a full time homemaker.
To my utter surprise and disappointment, those interested in me had no such intention of having me quit the job after marriage. For some, the job was the reason they got interested in me in the first place.
When I did resign, the misunderstanding, criticisms and disapproval which I suffered from some acquaintances was not so much difficult to bear as it would have been with a spouse's opinion.
That is the freedom you have as a single. You are at liberty to be led of God in ways that a married person would find constraining because room has to be made for spousal consent. Because consideration has to be made about how your decision affects the children, if you've got them.
This is one advantage you have over someone who is married.
1 Corinthian 7:32-34 New KJV
…He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord — how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world — how he may please his wife. 34 …The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world — how she may please her husband.
As a single, your preoccupation should not only be about who God wants you to marry.
I laugh as I remember a comment I once read some years ago on a blog. “Why is it that sisters (I add, singles) only hear God when it comes to who to marry, and yet they are ignorant of what He would want of them in other areas of their lives!?”
That is because many singles are only preoccupied with dating and marriage. As important as that may be, your life should be about what God wants you to do so you can focus your undivided attention on that. Because now, you have unique opportunities and advantages.
Marriage brings with it responsibilities and peculiar challenges. It should be a thing of joy for a Christian single to get married after having spent their single days busy with the things of God.
Of course as a Christian, you continue to serve God even in and through marriage, but responsibilities of becoming a spouse and a parent subtract from the freedoms the single person enjoys.
God's will for your life starts with your relationship with
That is a life-long journey of progressively growing in the knowledge of and intimacy with God. If you don't have an intimate relationship with the Lord, you are missing out on the purpose of salvation.
The Lord saved you, not only out of hell, but to himself, that you may know him intimately. That is why he made you a son or daughter. It is about relationship.
Intimacy with God begins with the development of a regular and consistent life of prayer and study of the Word, where you begin to understand God's mind and get acquainted with his voice.
With time, as you obediently align your life to God's Word, you’ll begin to discover the specific area in which he wants your life to be focused on.
With the link below, I'm referring you to a series of teachings that changed my life dramatically. It is a three-part series composed of 15 teachings, all FREE mp3 downloads.
Immediately after my born-again experience, I knew that God had a specific purpose for me to fulfill, but I didn’t know what it was. This series of teachings clarified my understanding about finding, following and fulfilling God's plan for my life.
I know it will do for you too.
Please read this Disclaimer before you click on a link to leave this site
May 09, 19 07:32 PM
It is not hard to find a christian husband or wife. God is in the business of bringing your spouse to you
May 07, 19 02:32 PM
Every Christian Single needs a healthy mindset before marriage
May 05, 19 08:16 AM
I was desperate for marriage. I couldn't bear the thought of another year without getting married.